..::OnE mOrE dAy::..

It's been 3 weeks since I said I won't step on the scale....I said fire and brimstone if i stepped on it before the end of the month and I stuck to it! The scary thing is that I feel fit but I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't see 152 or even the 155 I want to at least see.

The moment of truth is in less than 48 hours. I will be having a big mac meal before then! Oh well. This is the way I live; eat-workout-eat-work it out. C'est la vie!

I had a slim day...

3 days ago.

Friday was my one year anniversary of being in Vancouver. I celebrated with a Big Mac combo. Still stayed under my calories for the day. I even bought 2 apple pies for 1.39 and one of them is still in the fridge. The old me would have killed that by now! But I'm trying to balance out the fact that I had pizza and ice cream cake (free from my p/t job) on Saturday, rotisserie chicken and chicken pot pie on Sunday and yam fries and a white chocolate brownie from Moxi's and catered food (cookies, breads, cakes etc.) from work yesterday.

That's way too much and I can see the fat look coming back...

I have just over a week before my weigh in after 30 days on the JM plan. Although my eating hasn't been good, my work outs have been and I'm proud that I've made it 22 days strong thus far. 8 more days and 5 more JM workouts to go!

why does everyone want to make me fat?!?!

Just had some free domino's...3 slices, 2 cans of soda....and countless hersey nuggets....
it's a damn conspiracy I say!

I had a weight revelation because of this. I'm just going to try to get to 155 again...the 140's can come when they come...lol...I can't give up this food, glorious, food (watch ice age 2 for the song)...

We all need to get us some "Scale B Gone"

I have been scale free for almost a week. I have to resist the temptation because if I do go on and see something I don't want to see who knows what I'm going to do.

12 days on the JM workout plan has me looking fit but the difference in my clothes is minute.

What's a girl to do? I have to focus on a fitness goal and never mind the numbers because they will drive me crazy.

I might even fore go weighing in on the 1st and just stick it out until October 31 (my 27th b-day). On that day two years ago I was almost 200lbs! It was my most saddest birthdays every. I hung out with my family and enjoyed going to Dave & Busters and all around Toronto but when I looked in the mirror (or thought about what was in the mirror) I didn't like what I saw.

I was fat, single and jobless. I had never been in such a bad state before and it was depressing enough for me to cry. On my quarter century celebration!

But thank God for his grace because the following year things had changed. I moved across the country, I was a published writer and I was 30lbs lighter. And this year even more has changed....I am now 40lbs lighter from that point (hoping to make it 50lbs by that day).

October 31, 2009 will be my official move from being in my mid-twenties to late-twenties (kinda yuck). But with knowing that I'm older comes celebration of all the victories I have had. Not everyone can live on their own in a different country, lose 40lbs and keep it off and be liked by ever new person they meet. The favour of God is definitely upon me. And because of that I know that this weight will come off and I will accomplish my fitness goals once and for all! the when is the real question.

soon.....

It's a good darn thing that I have no followers...

'cause I'm not worthy...right now.

I had the most unproductive day ever today. I mean I have books to read, things to write and people to see. But today for some reason the most I got done before 6pm was making a fry baloney sandwich--not a good look.

It was sad. I don't get why I did it either. When I finally got up I went to the Y though. Sad thing is I forgot my shorts. So there went the work out but I did swim for 30 minutes and did 11 minutes in the steam room and 4 in the sauna.

Event-less sounding I know. But here's the kicker...I weighed in at 163.6 today. Practically butt naked. I don't care if I'm on my period, just ate a pack of cupcakes or not. THAT IS PURELY UNACCEPTABLE. I mean I look great to me. The stomach is looking fit, dare I say I have the silhouette of a six pack? But yet the number hasn't gone down it has gone up. Even if I was 8 months pregnant that's not right.

So what did I do, even after my friend was like you have a trip in a month to get ready for? I got a big mac combo. I had a coupon. It came up to $4.71. I ate in under 4 minutes.

I'm done with the scale. Forget what I've said in the past. This is it. I will not weigh in until after I finish 30 days of the plan I'm on to see what doing JM workouts for a month does for me.

THE REAL REASON I BLOGGED TONIGHT:
I didn't come on to put myself on blast. I came on because as I was getting ready to leave McDevil's I saw a women; 30ish, chubby, size 16, 5 '2. She was in work out gear; capri running pants, fitted zipped jacket. All I could think was even though I was more "fit" than her. We were the same person. She got nuggets I believe.

What is it about this weight thing that makes it so difficult to not circum to McDonald's at 9 at night? Jasmyne Cannick talks about her drive thru addiction even after losing 85lbs. This ish is serious.

I am happy with my workout, and besides group outings, and today's indiscretion, I really don't eat out or bad. So why is the scale not reflecting that?

NOW BACK TO MY RANT...
Mother pluck the scale! For real! Fire and brimstone if I step on that mug before October 1 and if I hit it up more than once a month for the rest of the year. I don't have one in the house for this reason. I mean, I have a measuring tape, and if I'm serious about my goal being getting ripped then what the heck do I need that damn electrical contraption for? So it can laugh at my dedication to working out by spiting out such absurd numbers?

I can't believe I've been constantly in the 160's for so long now...since late-August. usually it's for a day or two...not after two weeks of working out. Life was so much better before I step on the scale again.

The JM Workout Plan

I heard that Jillian Michaels' DVD's are the truth. And since starting back with her workout in Making the Cut, I am considering copping them to stay in shape. Doing 3 days of her workouts have my body looking "cut". No lie!

I've got 24 for days of this to go! I might way in tomorrow to see what the first 7 days of the plan did.

Mind you this isn't like how I did it in January. This time is very laxed. I eat out one a week and I'm allowed to eat a treat like cookies (only 200cals though).

So maybe the results after one week won't be that great. We'll see!

..::I need to make this quick::..

about a month ago I told my friend that I was in the market to change my workout plan from everyday to only 4 times a week. I need to do other things right now: focus on my career, fellowship and socialize etc. It was looking hard to fit in 1hr everyday in workout time not including the prep time before and the clean up time after. The whole thing could take 1.5-2 hours.

Not a lot I know. But dedicating that time everyday was getting tedious. I am writing this now as I am planning to hit the treadmill for a good run. I wish I truly understood my obsession with weight as much as I thought I did. My number one fear is that cutting back on the workouts will lead to weight gain. Is my social life worth it? Do I really need that time to work on my goals? Isn't staying under 155 and getting to 145 my ultimate goal?

Oh the questions. Well, this month I started Jillian Michael's Making the Cut again and I realize that to make the cut I only have to work out 5 times a week. Yeah, I have to hit the gym hard but that frees up two days where I can do my own thing.

So that's what I'm now. Also I want to look into picking up a team activity to keep me fit (most likely indoor soccer).

P.S. I'm featured in September's issue of SHAPE Magazine for losing 45lbs in total. My before picture wasn't that stellar and wasn't as bad as the one I put up here but what evs. It feels nice to be an ins