Oh come on now...

I said I'd be back on May 1...oops, I lied.

Here's the thing; I'm at 162.4 on a bad day and 158 on a good day - not close to the 144 I was hoping to be by June 1.

Deep sigh. The good news is that I'm back to working out at the Y again and have committed to doing morning workouts. I have been 30 plus pounds lighter for the past two years but I haven't forgotten my roots. It was those morning workouts at the Y and not eating out that got me down from 194 and it will be those same two things that will get me down to 144 (and maybe 140!).

THIS IS IT...

I'm getting my finances together (buh buy student loan), excelling at work and getting into my best shape ever.

How do I know this is it? I don't :( lol...all I know is what I've known all along...I can't do what ever I put my mind too...

What's my motivation...

I have been at this for sooo long, I just want something new...no more cut and wobbly arms...I want to be fit...

My biggest issue is the damn birthday cakes at work. I used to laugh at Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig-ers who condemn their work environment and even blamed it for their weight. Sadly, I now understand how unhealthy the work place can be!

In one week I will report on my progress and hopefully write a lot more...I'm so beat right now...I was at the Y by 7:30am today...

I am back...okay, I'm almost back...

The real kick off will be Saturday May 1

What's on my plate (no pun intended)

• training for the Vancouver Sun Run 10k
• losing my last 10lbs
• meeting all my goals and objectives at work

By June 1 I want to be in a different place...a free, peaceful and accomplished place. I know I have to work on it though...and work I will...

I'm reading Trey Anthony right now

Christmas Break

This is it...A break from blogging and ultimately dieting until the new year. The year when I will achieve all of my dreams. I have post its and notes all over my room to inspire me. Eventually I will accomplish EVERYTHING I set out to accomplish. It won`t be easy. For the next 9 days I will be charting out my journey.

There has been a lot of bad and good news in the world this year. First black president, but the war still goes on. Lots of celebs have died, football players to the King of Pop. All so tragic. Even this week Britney Murphy and Chris Henry died. The saddest death to me though was that of Jade Goody. She succumbed to cancer earlier this year leaving behind her children and husband. She became a reality star in 2002 and although a lot of stars have passed this year the fact that she was my age, 27, made hers hurt me the most.

If I were to pass away right now I would feel so unaccomplished. I am not trying to change the world but I want to achieve a lot more than what I have at this point. I need to plan a way to continue to achieve and reach new highs in 2010...

.:::things to do to keep me from eating:::.

I had an epiphany after running 45mins and up and down stairs 5 times that one of these times I will get it right and lose my last ten pounds. One of these diets must end in victory! for real...

Now on to my cheat sheet: Things to do before I cheat on my health plan...

• read my motivation list
• pray
• drink water
• brush my teeth

Coming up: MY MOTIVATION...

Diets During the Holiday are Foolishness

Got my December issue of Shape Magazine and guess what the editor message is about? "Why I now ban diets during the holidays."

Pretty much she says that every pound that she loses from Thanksgiving to the New Years from withstanding the temptations she ends up putting back on, and more. To top it off she said she doesn't lose a lot. Something like 6 pounds.

I too have realized that diets in December are pointless. I am going to write off diets in the summer too (from Canada Day- July 1 to Labour Day). With all the get togethers it is pointless to try to lose anything. Instead I will focus on maintaining and, more importantly, enjoying!

Hey, I'm down more than 40lbs. I can binge all I want and I won't go back to the 194lbs I used to be. Wow. Sometimes I need to take a look at what I've accomplished and be grateful. Not eat 6 cupcakes in a row grateful but push myself on the treadmill more grateful. It's almost most 2010, a new year and I am ready more than even to continue to experience new adventures and more blessings in my life. Yeah!!!!

P.S. read Jasmyne Cannick's Take on Holiday Binging...

only 6.8 to go

I'm 156.6lbs and that's after binging on Dominoes Pizza all weekend. For now I would be happy to see 149.9 on the scale. Seeing 151.8 again would be great too...
That's only 1.7lbs or so per week. As long as I keep up with running I don't see why this isn't achievable...

Current Projects and Thoughts

1. not eating dessert for the rest of the month. I realize that I shouldn't have told everyone about this because they don't get it...I'm just trying to brush up on will power.
2. not watching t.v. for the rest of the month
3. no McDonald's for the rest of the year (last meal was on September 30). This one might be hard because when I'm making life decisions I like to be comforted with a Big Mac Combo...it represents something that has been constant in my life
4. I'm fat. The scale says I'm 159 but in resent pictures I look more like 179. I want to never eat again.
5. I am always on a diet. Oh well, if it keeps me from going back to the 170's...IT'S ALL GOOD.

and the saga continues!!!

What Had Happen Was

I ate 9 cupcakes this weekend. It started with the grand re-opening sale at Old Navy where I bought not one but two wool coats at half off for the winter. They are beautiful and make me feel beautiful. And the free cupcakes and cake was a bonus!

So that was only 3 cupcakes on Saturday morning. Oh, let me back it up; on Friday I went to a CFL game (where the B.C. Lions lost horribly) and ended up eating at Red Robins at midnight and even had dessert. Fast forward to last night where I had a 6-pack of cupcakes, again.

It's a new day...I'm moving on...gonna hit the gym this morning...

THIS IS IT

I'm not referring to the Michael Jackson movie but to my D.I.E.T.

I more or less started today. The 5th seems like a nice enough day to start the diet that I know will lead me to 144. Coincidentally, it's exactly eight weeks from now until the end of the year.

Now the thing about this diet is that I will eat whatever I want. Because that's what I did in October and I'm still in the 150's.

Matter of fact this shouldn't be called a diet. Tyra's show yesterday was about "getting your shape in shape". Everything about it was cool except her "if you bite it, write it" rule. That's the different between a diet and a life change. If I'm writing what I'm eating down that means I'm dieting despite what Ms. Tyra thinks.

People who are living healthy lives and are maintaining their weight, don't walk around with diet journals. Journaling is probably the part of dieting that I do the least. I write days that I go to the gym and this year I've been writing my binges but that's about all I've written down consistently.

For the next 8 weeks I will probably weigh in everyday and write it on my mirror. And I expect to lose 1.775/week to bring down to 144 by the 31st of December.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN...

p.s Isn't Shemar Moore fione????

I bit the bullet...

and got a scale.

Got it from target...I even stepped on it...after all my binging and I`m still in the 150`s, 159.2 to be exact, after eating! I`ll take in and run...my next D.I.E.T. starts soon....

I know I'm sick

I ate 3 of the above, a lemon poppy seed muffin, a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie and a slice of cake. I'm sick...and you know what that means!

ANOTHER DIET! My last? Doubt it. My last for the year even? Ha.

I will be trying to "eat clean" for the rest of the year. Except for Christmas parties. This starts on November 1, 2009. I will be buying a scale to keep on track! (I know, that evil, devil like contraption).

I have to make better food choices. I want to journal daily about my progress and weigh in weekly.

P.S. bless Price Smart for the cool deco on the cupcake but really, you know they are just going in the garbage. and the coffin...might as well say Rest In Peace Michelle C. Williams if I don't get my diet together...and I'm off to eat No. 4

..::Did You Lose Weight?::..

I knew from earlier this year that running was the best keep secret in losing weight. I also knew that because it was probably the most difficult form of exercise for someone who was not fit, that most people trying to lose weight wouldn't pick it up to help their efforts.

I have started running consistently again since the beginning of this month and I've notices the difference. Yes, the Buddha belly and turkey arms are still there but my stomach is looking fit! Any my face is looking slim. I figure if I keep this up until the end of the month, and don't over eat too much, I will be at 149 by my 2-7 b-day.

I am so happy that I'm at this point in my journey. Where I can enjoy food and still look good! Where I appreciate putting in a 30 minute run into my day. It's a great point. I wish more of my bigger friends were at this point.

I still have my last 10 to go but I'm taking my time. 1lb a week is good enough for me.

Note: the title of this post is one of the things that big people like the most. For more things read here and below.

There’s Stuff White People Like, Stuff Educated Black People Like, and so many more. This list is nowhere close to the over 100 “stuff” listed on SWPL but it features some key thing that my fellow fatties and I have grown to appreciate. What better way is there to kick off the Thanksgiving weekend than with this list? Enjoy!

-the following are in no particular order

New Restaurants
When I first moved to B.C. I was amazed at the number of American restaurant chains that were here. Red Robins, Papa John’s and IHOP just to name a few. I felt like a kid in a candy shop (no pun intended). New places give us an excuse to eat out.

Distractions at the Gym
iPods, Magazines, hotties lifting weights, funny workout partners: all are acceptable forms of passing time while cursing the invention of the elliptical

Fatter Friends
A fatter friend makes us look small by default. Just like an ugly friend can make one look hotter. It’s sad but true.

Value Meals/Fastfood Coupons
Any excuses to stop off at McDonald’s/BK etc. are welcomed.

Convenience
aka. not having to go the extra mile. Literally.

Cakes
Self explanatory.

Dessert Shops
Remember when Demetri’s started opening up everywhere? Or the first speciality cupcakes shop (now there are tons)? What about Marble Slab? Oh, the joy that was brought into our lives because we no longer only had Baskin Robbins.

Skinny Friends with “Big” Appetites
Truly, we like anyone who loves food like us.

Being Told We’ve Lost Weight
Nothing like being told that we look smaller to give us confirmation that our diet of Big Macs and Cinnabons is working.

Shoes
No matter how much we gain they’ll always fit!

has anyone ever lost weight eating pizza and big macs everyday?

So my date of post must be on E.S.T. because the date says September 30 when I was writing it late on the 29th, west coast time. I am mentioning this because on the 30th, my last day, I didn't do my last JM workout. Instead I did the following;

• had a big mac with large fries
• had a fat burger strawberry shake and chilli cheese fries
• had a gourmet cookie from George on Denman Street
• had a carrot cake with icing from the same place

Ball park, that was probably 3000 calories alone, on a day when I didn't work out.

But...that's not all.

My curiosity of how many calories I do consume on that day lead me to find out how many calories were in my meal from Red Robins that I had on Sunday.

The guacamole bacon burger and 3 baskets of fries totals 2461 according to the website.

So twice in less than a week I had days where I consumed more than 3000 calories!

And in spite of it all...I weighed in at 158 in my clothes...minus the standard tare for shoes and clothes and I presume I'm at 154! One pound lighter than I was go for and only 2.2 above the smallest I was (last seen May 17th ish this year).

So I just ingested 1/2 a pizza and a gourmet cookie...I've still had less than 1500 for the day.

I'm back to running for this month and might do some JM in November. I need to alternated.

Hopefully I will be taking boxing in January.

I'M HAPPY TO BE BACK IN THE 150'S

p.s. I can't remember if I used the above picture before, but it inspires me to continue to be in the best shape of my life...WHAT A FEELING! my measurements are 37-28.5-41.5 and my thighs went from 24.5 to 22.75"

..::OnE mOrE dAy::..

It's been 3 weeks since I said I won't step on the scale....I said fire and brimstone if i stepped on it before the end of the month and I stuck to it! The scary thing is that I feel fit but I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't see 152 or even the 155 I want to at least see.

The moment of truth is in less than 48 hours. I will be having a big mac meal before then! Oh well. This is the way I live; eat-workout-eat-work it out. C'est la vie!

I had a slim day...

3 days ago.

Friday was my one year anniversary of being in Vancouver. I celebrated with a Big Mac combo. Still stayed under my calories for the day. I even bought 2 apple pies for 1.39 and one of them is still in the fridge. The old me would have killed that by now! But I'm trying to balance out the fact that I had pizza and ice cream cake (free from my p/t job) on Saturday, rotisserie chicken and chicken pot pie on Sunday and yam fries and a white chocolate brownie from Moxi's and catered food (cookies, breads, cakes etc.) from work yesterday.

That's way too much and I can see the fat look coming back...

I have just over a week before my weigh in after 30 days on the JM plan. Although my eating hasn't been good, my work outs have been and I'm proud that I've made it 22 days strong thus far. 8 more days and 5 more JM workouts to go!

why does everyone want to make me fat?!?!

Just had some free domino's...3 slices, 2 cans of soda....and countless hersey nuggets....
it's a damn conspiracy I say!

I had a weight revelation because of this. I'm just going to try to get to 155 again...the 140's can come when they come...lol...I can't give up this food, glorious, food (watch ice age 2 for the song)...

We all need to get us some "Scale B Gone"

I have been scale free for almost a week. I have to resist the temptation because if I do go on and see something I don't want to see who knows what I'm going to do.

12 days on the JM workout plan has me looking fit but the difference in my clothes is minute.

What's a girl to do? I have to focus on a fitness goal and never mind the numbers because they will drive me crazy.

I might even fore go weighing in on the 1st and just stick it out until October 31 (my 27th b-day). On that day two years ago I was almost 200lbs! It was my most saddest birthdays every. I hung out with my family and enjoyed going to Dave & Busters and all around Toronto but when I looked in the mirror (or thought about what was in the mirror) I didn't like what I saw.

I was fat, single and jobless. I had never been in such a bad state before and it was depressing enough for me to cry. On my quarter century celebration!

But thank God for his grace because the following year things had changed. I moved across the country, I was a published writer and I was 30lbs lighter. And this year even more has changed....I am now 40lbs lighter from that point (hoping to make it 50lbs by that day).

October 31, 2009 will be my official move from being in my mid-twenties to late-twenties (kinda yuck). But with knowing that I'm older comes celebration of all the victories I have had. Not everyone can live on their own in a different country, lose 40lbs and keep it off and be liked by ever new person they meet. The favour of God is definitely upon me. And because of that I know that this weight will come off and I will accomplish my fitness goals once and for all! the when is the real question.

soon.....

It's a good darn thing that I have no followers...

'cause I'm not worthy...right now.

I had the most unproductive day ever today. I mean I have books to read, things to write and people to see. But today for some reason the most I got done before 6pm was making a fry baloney sandwich--not a good look.

It was sad. I don't get why I did it either. When I finally got up I went to the Y though. Sad thing is I forgot my shorts. So there went the work out but I did swim for 30 minutes and did 11 minutes in the steam room and 4 in the sauna.

Event-less sounding I know. But here's the kicker...I weighed in at 163.6 today. Practically butt naked. I don't care if I'm on my period, just ate a pack of cupcakes or not. THAT IS PURELY UNACCEPTABLE. I mean I look great to me. The stomach is looking fit, dare I say I have the silhouette of a six pack? But yet the number hasn't gone down it has gone up. Even if I was 8 months pregnant that's not right.

So what did I do, even after my friend was like you have a trip in a month to get ready for? I got a big mac combo. I had a coupon. It came up to $4.71. I ate in under 4 minutes.

I'm done with the scale. Forget what I've said in the past. This is it. I will not weigh in until after I finish 30 days of the plan I'm on to see what doing JM workouts for a month does for me.

THE REAL REASON I BLOGGED TONIGHT:
I didn't come on to put myself on blast. I came on because as I was getting ready to leave McDevil's I saw a women; 30ish, chubby, size 16, 5 '2. She was in work out gear; capri running pants, fitted zipped jacket. All I could think was even though I was more "fit" than her. We were the same person. She got nuggets I believe.

What is it about this weight thing that makes it so difficult to not circum to McDonald's at 9 at night? Jasmyne Cannick talks about her drive thru addiction even after losing 85lbs. This ish is serious.

I am happy with my workout, and besides group outings, and today's indiscretion, I really don't eat out or bad. So why is the scale not reflecting that?

NOW BACK TO MY RANT...
Mother pluck the scale! For real! Fire and brimstone if I step on that mug before October 1 and if I hit it up more than once a month for the rest of the year. I don't have one in the house for this reason. I mean, I have a measuring tape, and if I'm serious about my goal being getting ripped then what the heck do I need that damn electrical contraption for? So it can laugh at my dedication to working out by spiting out such absurd numbers?

I can't believe I've been constantly in the 160's for so long now...since late-August. usually it's for a day or two...not after two weeks of working out. Life was so much better before I step on the scale again.

The JM Workout Plan

I heard that Jillian Michaels' DVD's are the truth. And since starting back with her workout in Making the Cut, I am considering copping them to stay in shape. Doing 3 days of her workouts have my body looking "cut". No lie!

I've got 24 for days of this to go! I might way in tomorrow to see what the first 7 days of the plan did.

Mind you this isn't like how I did it in January. This time is very laxed. I eat out one a week and I'm allowed to eat a treat like cookies (only 200cals though).

So maybe the results after one week won't be that great. We'll see!

..::I need to make this quick::..

about a month ago I told my friend that I was in the market to change my workout plan from everyday to only 4 times a week. I need to do other things right now: focus on my career, fellowship and socialize etc. It was looking hard to fit in 1hr everyday in workout time not including the prep time before and the clean up time after. The whole thing could take 1.5-2 hours.

Not a lot I know. But dedicating that time everyday was getting tedious. I am writing this now as I am planning to hit the treadmill for a good run. I wish I truly understood my obsession with weight as much as I thought I did. My number one fear is that cutting back on the workouts will lead to weight gain. Is my social life worth it? Do I really need that time to work on my goals? Isn't staying under 155 and getting to 145 my ultimate goal?

Oh the questions. Well, this month I started Jillian Michael's Making the Cut again and I realize that to make the cut I only have to work out 5 times a week. Yeah, I have to hit the gym hard but that frees up two days where I can do my own thing.

So that's what I'm now. Also I want to look into picking up a team activity to keep me fit (most likely indoor soccer).

P.S. I'm featured in September's issue of SHAPE Magazine for losing 45lbs in total. My before picture wasn't that stellar and wasn't as bad as the one I put up here but what evs. It feels nice to be an ins