Oh come on now...

I said I'd be back on May 1...oops, I lied.

Here's the thing; I'm at 162.4 on a bad day and 158 on a good day - not close to the 144 I was hoping to be by June 1.

Deep sigh. The good news is that I'm back to working out at the Y again and have committed to doing morning workouts. I have been 30 plus pounds lighter for the past two years but I haven't forgotten my roots. It was those morning workouts at the Y and not eating out that got me down from 194 and it will be those same two things that will get me down to 144 (and maybe 140!).

THIS IS IT...

I'm getting my finances together (buh buy student loan), excelling at work and getting into my best shape ever.

How do I know this is it? I don't :( lol...all I know is what I've known all along...I can't do what ever I put my mind too...

What's my motivation...

I have been at this for sooo long, I just want something new...no more cut and wobbly arms...I want to be fit...

My biggest issue is the damn birthday cakes at work. I used to laugh at Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig-ers who condemn their work environment and even blamed it for their weight. Sadly, I now understand how unhealthy the work place can be!

In one week I will report on my progress and hopefully write a lot more...I'm so beat right now...I was at the Y by 7:30am today...

Christmas Break

This is it...A break from blogging and ultimately dieting until the new year. The year when I will achieve all of my dreams. I have post its and notes all over my room to inspire me. Eventually I will accomplish EVERYTHING I set out to accomplish. It won`t be easy. For the next 9 days I will be charting out my journey.

There has been a lot of bad and good news in the world this year. First black president, but the war still goes on. Lots of celebs have died, football players to the King of Pop. All so tragic. Even this week Britney Murphy and Chris Henry died. The saddest death to me though was that of Jade Goody. She succumbed to cancer earlier this year leaving behind her children and husband. She became a reality star in 2002 and although a lot of stars have passed this year the fact that she was my age, 27, made hers hurt me the most.

If I were to pass away right now I would feel so unaccomplished. I am not trying to change the world but I want to achieve a lot more than what I have at this point. I need to plan a way to continue to achieve and reach new highs in 2010...

.:::things to do to keep me from eating:::.

I had an epiphany after running 45mins and up and down stairs 5 times that one of these times I will get it right and lose my last ten pounds. One of these diets must end in victory! for real...

Now on to my cheat sheet: Things to do before I cheat on my health plan...

• read my motivation list
• pray
• drink water
• brush my teeth

Coming up: MY MOTIVATION...

Diets During the Holiday are Foolishness

Got my December issue of Shape Magazine and guess what the editor message is about? "Why I now ban diets during the holidays."

Pretty much she says that every pound that she loses from Thanksgiving to the New Years from withstanding the temptations she ends up putting back on, and more. To top it off she said she doesn't lose a lot. Something like 6 pounds.

I too have realized that diets in December are pointless. I am going to write off diets in the summer too (from Canada Day- July 1 to Labour Day). With all the get togethers it is pointless to try to lose anything. Instead I will focus on maintaining and, more importantly, enjoying!

Hey, I'm down more than 40lbs. I can binge all I want and I won't go back to the 194lbs I used to be. Wow. Sometimes I need to take a look at what I've accomplished and be grateful. Not eat 6 cupcakes in a row grateful but push myself on the treadmill more grateful. It's almost most 2010, a new year and I am ready more than even to continue to experience new adventures and more blessings in my life. Yeah!!!!

P.S. read Jasmyne Cannick's Take on Holiday Binging...

Portion Sizes

that right there is my issue. I skipped the chance to have the worlds best coffee cake today. That was my only real temptation in the last 12 days of not having dessert. I ended up eating a medium pepperoni pizza with 10 wings and 2 sodas. I remember the last time I ate like this. It was when I put on my freshman 40...

Current Projects and Thoughts

1. not eating dessert for the rest of the month. I realize that I shouldn't have told everyone about this because they don't get it...I'm just trying to brush up on will power.
2. not watching t.v. for the rest of the month
3. no McDonald's for the rest of the year (last meal was on September 30). This one might be hard because when I'm making life decisions I like to be comforted with a Big Mac Combo...it represents something that has been constant in my life
4. I'm fat. The scale says I'm 159 but in resent pictures I look more like 179. I want to never eat again.
5. I am always on a diet. Oh well, if it keeps me from going back to the 170's...IT'S ALL GOOD.

and the saga continues!!!

Personal Weight Loss Tips

• I need at least a 3 month period where my schedule is not expected to change
• a goal event where it would be nice to lose weight by but no the end of the world if I don't lose a lot
• plan my workouts

THIS IS IT

I'm not referring to the Michael Jackson movie but to my D.I.E.T.

I more or less started today. The 5th seems like a nice enough day to start the diet that I know will lead me to 144. Coincidentally, it's exactly eight weeks from now until the end of the year.

Now the thing about this diet is that I will eat whatever I want. Because that's what I did in October and I'm still in the 150's.

Matter of fact this shouldn't be called a diet. Tyra's show yesterday was about "getting your shape in shape". Everything about it was cool except her "if you bite it, write it" rule. That's the different between a diet and a life change. If I'm writing what I'm eating down that means I'm dieting despite what Ms. Tyra thinks.

People who are living healthy lives and are maintaining their weight, don't walk around with diet journals. Journaling is probably the part of dieting that I do the least. I write days that I go to the gym and this year I've been writing my binges but that's about all I've written down consistently.

For the next 8 weeks I will probably weigh in everyday and write it on my mirror. And I expect to lose 1.775/week to bring down to 144 by the 31st of December.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN...

p.s Isn't Shemar Moore fione????

I know I'm sick

I ate 3 of the above, a lemon poppy seed muffin, a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie and a slice of cake. I'm sick...and you know what that means!

ANOTHER DIET! My last? Doubt it. My last for the year even? Ha.

I will be trying to "eat clean" for the rest of the year. Except for Christmas parties. This starts on November 1, 2009. I will be buying a scale to keep on track! (I know, that evil, devil like contraption).

I have to make better food choices. I want to journal daily about my progress and weigh in weekly.

P.S. bless Price Smart for the cool deco on the cupcake but really, you know they are just going in the garbage. and the coffin...might as well say Rest In Peace Michelle C. Williams if I don't get my diet together...and I'm off to eat No. 4