So it's the 1st of the 3rd month of the year. I started this year with a mind to reach 144 by February 18th....for nostalgic reasons. By mid-January I clearly saw the error in my judgement and pushed the date to March 31 ,2009. On March 31 last year I had started a new position at a publishing company. I weighed 186-ish. It was when I started there that I become serious. Three months later I was 166.
Now I am approx 153. I have to weigh my self this week. My tracking chart has me saying that I should be 150.5 this week. I have 31 days to make to 144 and even if I don't, this is the end of my dieting.
And no I'm not doing that whole "it's a life change" thing. I'm ending the insanity that dieting for a decade has caused. I am admitting that even now, at the smallest I've ever been, I'm not satisfied. I am yearning to be a size that is not even possible for someone of my body type and athleticism. I don't know how to explain it. My good friend, NG, brought up the fact that we need to end this thing...always dieting, talking about dieting or binging. We need to get ourselves in check. I'm 40 some odd pounds lighter and I still have issues. It's like a never ending thing for me....
Right now what makes me wanna end it is because I want to shop for some clothes that compliment my new body and make me look trendy. Kind of like the clothes that I dress my NVM up in. Funny enough I work p/t at H&M and that's what my NVM is wearing but still I haven't really shopped there. Now I don't wanna be H&M from head to toe but I do wanna look chic and swimming in my former size 12's is not making the cut.
Now I might not be able to wear size 8's all around, but whatever size I am at midnight April 1, 2009 is what I am shopping for. My measurements haven't really changed in February but I am going to try my best to be at my goal of 37-27-39. That's a loss of 2 inches all over. I will do it!
So just to say it again....at midnight April 1 I am done done done with dieting, talking about dieting or planning my diet. I will probably plan my workouts and make sure I am putting proper nutrients into my body but I will be done trying to become a size that was probably not meant for me! I used to be almost 200. I will be under 150 and be satisfied!
Special love and kisses to my new friends in Vancouver who always tell me how great I look! And to the gym in my building for making it impossible for me to make excuses when it comes to working out...
My full thank you list is to come...including a shout out to the haters that said I couldn't do it!
No comments:
Post a Comment